I am currently lying in bed and ready to turn my light off but I keep putting it off. I wanted to do a blog post earlier but that didn’t work out. My body is sore and tired but I can’t seem to quiet the mind. And it’s been like this ALL day.

There are days where I wake up and am just depressed. And I know the next day will be better but getting through the current day is horrible. I sit and wish my life away…

I tried different things or skills that I learn in therapy, but nothing seemed to work. Chocolate ice cream – nope. Reading (which is my favorite hobby & can normally quiet my brain) – nope. It seemed even for the things I loved, I seemed to no longer love. I didn’t even want to see any person I care about. I felt like I just didn’t give a shit. I thought about calling my therapist but I pictured myself listening to her while rolling my eyes. I saved myself the hassle and decided it was not a good idea.

Does anyone else get like this? Nothing has gone wrong but you wake up hating the world for just that one day. I don’t know where it comes from; if it has something to do with my Lupus (a sign that a flare is on the way), or if it has something to do with some mental issues that I am dealing with. I do deal with depression but it felt worse than that.

I decided to take a nap and I woke up feeling MUCH better! Mind you, I am still crabby but I am no longer on the downward spiral. So when all else fails, take a nap. 🙂

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