A new Lupus symptom for me


Upon waking on Sunday, February 1st, I looked at the bathroom mirror and groaned. Pink eye. Awesome. The weather was super crappy and I was trying to decide if I wanted to go into acute care. I figured it could wait another day but texted my mom to let her know that I would be needing a ride some time on Monday. She mentioned she had the grandkids so it would be easier if we went on this crappy weather day. So I gave in and she told me she would be on her way to pick me up.

Once I saw that she was at my place, I quickly went to her vehicle and opened the door.

“Here,” mom said while thrusting black gloves in my face. “I am NOT getting sick and I don’t want your germs.” I looked at her. Her eyes went wide and she said, “I’m serious!” So I pulled the gloves on and we took off.

Once inside the acute center, the doctor checked out my left eye. She sat down to log onto the computer and spent a couple minutes scrolling. She sat up and informed me that she would be right back. I sat there confused while waiting for her to return. Why didn’t she just say that I had pink eye?

After a few minutes she came in with a piece of paper, which she gives me, then sits down.

“It’s not pink eye,” she stated. Then she began to tell me that sometimes with Lupus patients, they get what is called Episcleritis. This is inflammation of the whites of the eyes. She mentioned I have to make sure it doesn’t get worse and have it checked out by an eye doctor. She gave me a prescription, but it was basically like a high dose of Aleve.

A couple days later I went to my eye doctor and she explained what it was (same answer as acute doctor). She wanted to give me some eye drops since that is what we were trying to treat, it only makes sense. She prescribed a very small bottle of Tobramycin and Dexamethasone Ophthalmic Suspension (I’m just listing what the box read) and I was to place one drop four times a day for five days. It worked just fine.

I noticed a couple of things before I had to go in but didn’t pay much attention to them. My eyes seemed to have more gook than normal when waking up and during the day. My eyes were painful but I figured my allergies were just starting up. But now I know, and knowing is half the battle (Yes, that is a G.I. Joe reference).




For some reason, I have always had difficulty with this account on getting the gravatar-thing to show my picture. I tried going through help it seemed I went through the whole thing and it still won’t show. I think that is one reason why I stay away from the blog so much. I log on, begin to fuck with the picture, get pissed off then sign out. Anyone have any suggestions????  It’s so frustrating!



I am currently lying in bed and ready to turn my light off but I keep putting it off. I wanted to do a blog post earlier but that didn’t work out. My body is sore and tired but I can’t seem to quiet the mind. And it’s been like this ALL day.

There are days where I wake up and am just depressed. And I know the next day will be better but getting through the current day is horrible. I sit and wish my life away…

I tried different things or skills that I learn in therapy, but nothing seemed to work. Chocolate ice cream – nope. Reading (which is my favorite hobby & can normally quiet my brain) – nope. It seemed even for the things I loved, I seemed to no longer love. I didn’t even want to see any person I care about. I felt like I just didn’t give a shit. I thought about calling my therapist but I pictured myself listening to her while rolling my eyes. I saved myself the hassle and decided it was not a good idea.

Does anyone else get like this? Nothing has gone wrong but you wake up hating the world for just that one day. I don’t know where it comes from; if it has something to do with my Lupus (a sign that a flare is on the way), or if it has something to do with some mental issues that I am dealing with. I do deal with depression but it felt worse than that.

I decided to take a nap and I woke up feeling MUCH better! Mind you, I am still crabby but I am no longer on the downward spiral. So when all else fails, take a nap. 🙂