When meeting someone new and the subject happens to come up, I will mention my Lupus. I am in fact very open about it. I’m not looking for attention like a whore on a corner; I just want people to be aware of what is out there in the “real world.” Some people get diagnosed or misdiagnosed after months of not knowing because it mimics so many other auto-immune diseases. Fortunately, I was lucky to be diagnosed right away. How can getting diagnosed be lucky? Because you don’t have to go through any extra tests and you can start medication right away.

When it comes to the “dating world” within the “real world” I used to keep quiet about the subject until after I had been on a few dates with someone. I wanted them to see me for who I am first and not my condition.

But things have changed since I decided to quit my full time job while waiting to be approved for Social Security. I don’t want men to think that I am just a bum that sits around all day sucking off the government’s teat. But I know men have to be curious when they find out that I only have a part time job. I tell them about my blogs and novel that I am working on which leads them to ask, “What are you writing about?” That is when I reveal my secret and they know from the very beginning of my condition instead of after a few dates.

But now I am beginning to wonder if I should keep my mouth locked shut. They never have chapters about this in the “What Men are Thinking” books. I can’t avoid the issue because men take notice that I don’t work every day and I don’t work all day on those days. I view telling the person early is not a bad thing because they will figure out later on anyway. And the era of trying to find someone without baggage is long gone.  Everyone has baggage. I’m not trying to be negative; I’m just being realistic.

I believe it is easier to date a friend or someone that already knows of my Lupus. However, all the people I know are now married…

What I want to know from Lupus patients is their approach when it comes to meeting a potential mate for the first time. All those Lupies out there—do you mention your Lupus at the beginning or wait until some time has passed? What have you found that works in the dating world? What doesn’t work?

And if there are any future mates reading this right now, I want to know your thoughts on this. Keep it a secret or lay it out right away?

 

 

 

*Thanks to nandoism.com for use of photo

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